While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but
his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old
beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there alligators around here?!""Now", the man hollered back, "They ain't been around for years"."Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore".About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?""We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said."The sharks got 'em."

A couple of young fellers were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of
the bush's jumped the Game Warden!!Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a
bat out of hell, and hot on his heels came the Game Warden...After about a half mile the fella stopped and stopped over with his hands on his thigh's to
catch his breath and the Game Warden finally caught up to him..."Lets see yer fishin license, Boy!" the Warden gasped.With that, the fella pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license.."Well, son", said the Game Warden, "You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks!! You don't
have to run from me if you have a valid license!!""Yes, Sir", replied the young feller, "But my friend back there, well, he don't have one"....

Two friend rented a boat and fished in a lake everyday. One day they caught 30 fish. One guy
said to his friend, "Mark this spot so that we can come back here again tomorrow". The next day, when they were driving to rent the boat, the same guy asked his friend, "Did
you mark that spot?"His friend replied, "Yeah, I put a big 'X' on the bottom of the boat".The first one said, "You stupid fool! What if we don't get the same boat today?!?!"

On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new
dog?""I sure did," responded his friend. "He can't swim".
Two guys are out hunting deer. The first guy says,"Did you see that?""No", the second guy says."Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead", the first guy says."Oh", says the second guy.A couple of minutes later, the first guy says, "Did ou see that?""See what?" the second guy asks."Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there"."Oh".A few minutes later, the first guy says: "Did you see that?"By now, the second guy is getting aggravated, so he says, "Yes, I did".And the first guy says: "Then why did you step in it?"

Questions for youWhy can't women put on mascara with their mouths closed?Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lotteryl?"Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?Why is a boxing ring square?Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips after you use it?Why is it necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?Why is what doctors do called "practice"?Why is it rain drops, but snow falls?Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?Why is the third hand on a watch called a second hand?

In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining a pathologist.Here's what happened:Attorney : Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?Coroner : No.Attorney : Did you listen to the hearth?Coroner : No.Attorney : Did you check for breathing?Coroner : No.Attorney : So, when you signed the death cerificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were
you?Coroner : Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But
I guess it's possible he could be out there practicing law somewhere.